The Column of Disquiet - Earth Burger Finally Opened, So We Had to Go to The Mall (Fear and Loathing 2: Electric Boogaloo)

A year ago, when I began writing The Column of Disquiet, I had a list on a Post-It Note on my computer. On it, I had typed out possible ideas and subjects for future columns/essays. 

Eventually, I started going back through them, and trying to figure out what the 'story' was going to be; like, what's the through line that gets me from the beginning to the end? What do I learn about myself? Do I grow? Does somebody else grow? Even in creative non-fiction, there has to be a narrative, or, like, the feeling that a piece is going somewhere, or building toward something larger.

That's always the struggle- finding that narrative, or way through until the ending. 

Since December, I feel like I've partially been flying by the seat of my pants with these. That list of topics is long gone, and I'm just hoping, week after week, as soon as I finish something, and send it off to my editor, that something else comes along and inspires me enough to write, like, 5,000 words or whatever about it.

I did not intend for a simple trip to the Mall of America to turn into a column of this magnitude, but it did. It almost got away from me a few times, but I hope I was able to bring it in. 

It also seems worth mentioning that I had the following exchange with whoever has been tasked with operating the Mall of America's Twitter account: