I See a Darkness

It's been a minute since I've put together a mixtape for the blog. I guess the "winter songs" one and then the holiday-themed were the last two I was able to cobble together. I mean, I just don't really have that much time anymore; not like I did over the summer when I was unemployed and could shit something out every Friday, you know?

There's a reason I made this tape, though. I touched on this in two posts from last month, but we lost our girl Sophie on February 22nd. It seems horrible to say this, but with past mixes that I have used to work through devastating loss, I've used a lot of the "good" sad songs I have in my stable. 

This tape is both a little rushed and desperate, but also somewhat calculated. Much like my state right now, in the wake of a loss, this is structured as a bit of an emotional roller coaster. There's some hope, I guess, in some of these, but it's mostly just about loss, and everything that comes with it.

A few notes on some of these songs:

The added ending line to "Hay Fever" is pulled from a live version of the song,  performed at First Ave, shortly after the record was released. I don't know why that line is not included on the album version, but I find that it makes the ending much more meaningful. Back when I was on the radio, once the song "clicked" for me, this was the version I would play on the air to really push the point of the song home.

Save for the opening line or two, the version of "Only One" is taken from Kanye's performance on "The Jonathan Ross Show." It's a really emotional performance of the song, and there's a moment at the end when he explains who "Nori" is (his daughter, duh) and that he has her name tattooed on his chest. I was incredibly moved by this when I watched it, and that human moment inspired me to get my tattoo of Sophie- not her name on my chest, but a picture of her on my wrist. Because for me, getting a tattoo in a place where no one can see it is like getting an expensive toy for Christmas and then never playing with it.

Lastly, the version of "Together We Will Live Forever" that's on here is a dub from Clint Mansell's MySpace page from the summer of 2006 that I found online. This is the original version of the song, back when it was still called "The Last Man," and featured vocals from Antony. The version used in the movie, The Fountain, is a different take; it's longer and the vocals are removed. "The Last Man" version is the one I heard first, and I feel like it's just a better interpretation of the song.

Anhedonic Headphones presents I See a Darkness (right click, save as, blah blah)

1. Hay Fever (slight edit) by Eyedea and Abilities

2. Ladies and Gentlemen, We Are Floating in Space (slight edit) by Spiritualized

3. Everything Reminds Me of Her by Elliott Smith

4. I See a Darkness by Bonnie "Prince" Billy

5. Out of Tears by The Rolling Stones

6. Let U Know by How to Dress Well

7. Going to Your Funeral by Eels

8. The Day The World Went Away by Nine Inch Nails

9. Some Things Never Try by Jason Molina

10. Only One by Kanye West

11. Oh Well, Okay by Elliott Smith

12. Broken Heart by Spiritualized

13. On The Nature of Daylight by Max Richter

14. Together, We Will Live Forever (The Last Man) by Clint Mansell featuring Antony